Friday, July 15, 2005

left my garbage in la mirada

so here I am in washington d.c., surrounded by people with prosthetic legs, arms, stumps. some people just have bandages. some people are still sleeping after three weeks. my brother has eight-inch incisions on his crown. but he is smiling, moving around, talking, thanking people. he is better than the picture i had created in my imagination. he showed us his purple heart, and we brought him books and cds from the red cross. he doesn't have clothes, id tags, or anything from his life before last week. but he walked today. he is better looking than i remember.

walter reed army hospital is enormous. enormous like the Enterprise. i got a lot of exercise looking for the neuroscience ward.

it is very hard to find a place to smoke on the compound. it is a "non-smoking facility" and there are people in uniform wandering everywhere. smokers in wheelchairs congregate in a few back corners. almost everyone here that isn't sick or injured is worried about someone who is. sons, daughters, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers.

i was sitting by the coi pond today, alone in the humidity. a woman in her greens, walking with a cane, stopped and said to me, "Are you okay?" i am sure i am better than almost every other civilian here. Erin, whose husband was in my brother's unit, is not planning to go home until the father of her three children wakes up from his coma. She has been here almost a month.

i almost feel like i'm in another country. it is definitely another world. there are no frills and few facades. i don't think anyone has the space.

Monday, July 11, 2005

I'm busy. Don't ask me for any favors, please.

for the next fortnight:

Washington D.C.
see my family
visit my brother in the hospital
struggle uncomfortably
process

Boston, Massachusettes
see my Aaron
visit New Hampshire
meet his family
process

Southern California
pack and move my possessions
say goodbye to my job
sever ties with Biola
. . .

Pasadena
new room-mate
new home
new town
new address
process

miss my friends
miss my job
miss my Aaron

pay my bills
food on the table
trust in God

Monday, July 04, 2005

Oh brother where art thou?

This weekend:

I'm housesitting in a BetterHomesAndGardens-ready house
babysitting two "special-needs" labrador retrievers
eating poptarts and popsicles

I found an apartment
and met my new room-mate for the first time
and my prayer was answered

My brother was wounded in Iraq
he had brain surgury
and has a hole in his skull
he comes back to The States tomorrow
they'll put a plate in his head

I'll start packing
I'll play with the dogs
I'll go to a barbeque

I'll try to breathe